Funny Status Updates for Facebook by Witty Status.
A FunnyStatus.com Website.

Submit your Witty Status


Your nickname :
Categories :
Gender? :
Upload Your Witty Picture:

Random Status

Sort: All Time | Today Only | This Week | This Month | This Year

My 7 year old nephew just asked my age and when I replied 20 he said "oh, well maybe when you're 21 you'll get boobies..."

#1087
0 Comments

Witty Status (6) - Boring Status (1)

Feb 19, 2011 12:54 AM - Kid Statuses - by funnyworld ()

 

Sign up for more!

When I was your age my whole family shared one phone, and it was attached to the kitchen wall by a cord

#896
0 Comments

Witty Status (6) - Boring Status (1)

Feb 18, 2011 02:00 AM - Quotes - by girlfunny ()

 

Sign up for more!

Seriously, wtf


#2026
0 Comments

Witty Status (98) - Boring Status (47)

Feb 24, 2011 07:54 AM - Funny Pictures - by wtfmang ()

 

Sign up for more!

Apparently Diet Pepsi has come out with a new "skinny" can...does that mean regular Pepsi will be coming out with a new "fat-ass" can?

#1986
0 Comments

Witty Status (8) - Boring Status (2)

Feb 20, 2011 11:56 PM - Misc. Statuses - by dunky ()

 

Sign up for more!

Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.

#420
0 Comments

Witty Status (7) - Boring Status (1)

Feb 17, 2011 06:01 AM - Men - by skinh ()

 

Sign up for more!


Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

#206
0 Comments

Witty Status (8) - Boring Status (0)

Feb 16, 2011 05:28 PM - Money Statuses - by k69 ()

 

Sign up for more!

wants you to know that every time you make a “your mom” joke, I call my mom to check. Most of you are liars!

#1266
0 Comments

Witty Status (2) - Boring Status (2)

Feb 19, 2011 02:11 AM - Relationship Statuses - by jokyst ()

 

Sign up for more!

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

#61
0 Comments

Witty Status (3) - Boring Status (2)

Feb 16, 2011 01:34 AM - Misc. Statuses - by laughter ()

 

Sign up for more!

If you got attacked by a bunch of homeless people would you be bummed?

#1131
0 Comments

Witty Status (1) - Boring Status (2)

Feb 19, 2011 01:11 AM - Misc. Statuses - by chuckle ()

 

Sign up for more!

I never quite know exactly what I'm talking about.

#1244
0 Comments

Witty Status (1) - Boring Status (3)

Feb 19, 2011 02:01 AM - Misc. Statuses - by jokyst ()

 

Sign up for more!


Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: Fear of long words.

#227
0 Comments

Witty Status (6) - Boring Status (0)

Feb 16, 2011 06:15 PM - Animal Statuses - by chilly90 ()

 

Sign up for more!

If your friends can accurately guess your age, you need to find dumber friends.

#2972
0 Comments

Witty Status (12) - Boring Status (3)

Sep 3, 2011 04:12 PM - Misc. Statuses - by 0l3m355 ()

 

Sign up for more!

The only reason my heart appears cold and black is because I have my real heart locked in an indestrucible black heart shaped box and cryogenically frozen to prevent further damage.

#1128
0 Comments

Witty Status (6) - Boring Status (1)

Feb 19, 2011 01:10 AM - Misc. Statuses - by chuckle ()

 

Sign up for more!
Your account
Username Password  Remember Me