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Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

#1229
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Witty Status (2) - Boring Status (1)

Feb 19, 2011 01:55 AM - Misc. Statuses - by jokyst ()

 

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It's funny; when you walk through a spiderweb, you instantly learn King Fu.

#3470
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Witty Status (518) - Boring Status (134)

Jun 20, 2012 05:52 AM - Animal Statuses - by ThegGavsta ()

 

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Some guy waved to me and then walked up and said, “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” I said, “I am.”

#2780
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Witty Status (58) - Boring Status (15)

Jul 29, 2011 07:20 PM - Misc. Statuses - by UdunnoJack ()

 

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LIKE IF: You sat down to check Facebook real quick and…an hour later, you’re still here.

#2771
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Witty Status (58) - Boring Status (11)

Jul 29, 2011 07:21 PM - Facebook Statuses - by traphouse43 ()

 

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I'm so ready to give my pillows some head and my blanket some booty while my bed gets laid!! Good night!!!

#3385
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Witty Status (192) - Boring Status (43)

Feb 13, 2012 07:52 AM - Silly Statuses - by JennS  ()

 

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Two knives taped together are not a suitable alternative to scissors.

#1056
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Witty Status (3) - Boring Status (2)

Feb 18, 2011 09:15 PM - Misc. Statuses - by comedy01 ()

 

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I feel off today. Can someone turn me on?

#1332
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Witty Status (0) - Boring Status (3)

Feb 19, 2011 07:02 AM - Misc. Statuses - by culture87 ()

 

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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

#56
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Witty Status (4) - Boring Status (1)

Feb 16, 2011 01:27 AM - Money Statuses - by laughter ()

 

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When future archeologists dig up the remnants of our civilization, I hope they uncover a '67 Ford Mustang before they find a fanny pack.

#1682
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Witty Status (7) - Boring Status (1)

Feb 19, 2011 07:03 PM - Misc. Statuses - by kitty ()

 

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I hit the control key but I’m still not in control.

#2939
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Witty Status (10) - Boring Status (5)

Aug 30, 2011 08:30 PM - Computer Statuses - by SoggyMits ()

 

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Halloween isn't really that different than any other day.. everyone's still pretending to be someone or something their not.

#620
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Witty Status (3) - Boring Status (0)

Feb 17, 2011 09:20 PM - Misc. Statuses - by visit09 ()

 

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Dear Curiosity, just put the gun down and lets talk this out.~ Sincerely, The Cat.

#1539
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Witty Status (13) - Boring Status (2)

Feb 19, 2011 05:35 PM - Misc. Statuses - by pagal ()

 

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Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

#54
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Witty Status (4) - Boring Status (1)

Feb 16, 2011 01:26 AM - Misc. Statuses - by laughter ()

 

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