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Does (enter your home town here) have speed dating? Not that I want to try and find a date, I just want to see how many farts I can disburse is a timely fashion.

#3403
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Witty Status (7) - Boring Status (21)

Apr 19, 2012 08:28 AM - Misc. Statuses - by bradleyc487 ()

 

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I wish people were like money so i could hold them up to the light and see if they are real.

#3468
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Witty Status (1012) - Boring Status (208)

Jul 22, 9178 01:31 PM - Facebook Statuses - by MrAlexjames94 ()

 

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Mega turnoff , when your girlfriend doesn't wanna have sex!

#3447
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Witty Status (30) - Boring Status (45)

Feb 27, 2012 09:04 AM - Sex Statuses - by Mr.awesome ()

 

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The awkward moment when you're stopped at a red light and realize that you and the big black dude in the SUV next to you are indeed listening CHUM FM and quite audibly singing along to Torn by Natalie Imbruglia.

#3384
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Witty Status (16) - Boring Status (37)

Feb 21, 2012 07:45 PM - Facebook Statuses - by Flyinlow ()

 

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I suspect my grandmother is a member of Fight Club, 'cause I never hear her talk about it.

#3435
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Witty Status (27) - Boring Status (13)

Jul 22, 8673 01:30 PM - Movies / Televison - by LowSociety ()

 

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Your smile is your best defense against your enemy.

#3434
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Witty Status (184) - Boring Status (47)

Jul 22, 373 01:29 PM - Facebook Statuses - by Austin ()

 

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Women are like Rubix Cubes, even the smartest of men can't figure them out.

#3395
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Witty Status (89) - Boring Status (36)

Feb 13, 2012 08:03 AM - Facebook Statuses - by PeezyK ()

 

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After 14 years, they still haven't found the person who let the dogs out. I'm beginning to wonder if he or she will ever be confronted for their actions.

#3388
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Witty Status (110) - Boring Status (30)

Feb 12, 2012 11:35 AM - Silly Statuses - by The Brad Hatter ()

 

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The IRS rejected my Tax Return because of my response to: "List all dependents?" I replied -"12 million illegal immigrants; 42 million unemployable people on food stamps, 2 million people in over 243 prisons; and 535 fools in the U.S. House and Senate." Apparently, that was NOT an acceptable answer.

#3407
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Witty Status (192) - Boring Status (29)

Feb 3, 2012 10:41 AM - Statistics - by Youknowyadayada ()

 

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So I just came to the realisation that vampires is where AIDs came from. Think about it, biting person after person, mixing all that blood, Edward from Twilight. It all makes sense now.

#3406
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Witty Status (26) - Boring Status (14)

Feb 2, 2012 06:23 PM - Movies / Televison - by Bad News Report ()

 

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i had a dream lady Gaga saying she is not wearing meat to the awards this time but she is going to wear AMY WINEHOUSE to the grammy awards

#3378
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Witty Status (3) - Boring Status (32)

Jan 19, 2012 04:39 AM - Facebook Statuses - by twana ()

 

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Drunk people run stop signs, high people wait for them to turn green.

#3338
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Witty Status (119) - Boring Status (22)

Jan 15, 2012 02:51 PM - Facebook Statuses - by motianihemant ()

 

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You know you're fucked when you don't even know the answers to the sample questions....

#3288
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Witty Status (95) - Boring Status (23)

Jan 3, 2012 08:05 PM - Work Statuses - by Kaliq ()

 

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